Finding the need to caption my pictures with words and phrases that capture the moments I've lived and experienced, I created this site. My fear is to grow old and stare blankly at the beautifully captured pixels with no recollection of the people or not be able to relive the moments in time. 

With a savage and relentless auspicious audacity for success, I have fought for the opportunity to hold my own chalice. With a callous numbness, I embraced the world. Losing myself in the process but never derailing; I am here. But what would you give for your soul? For now that I have gained the world, I am alone. 

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Loving my own company, I look out at the city; it is what I have earned. Not seeking love, it was never a priority. It was always a distraction, an excuse not to be great. What is it that I've learned? Never stray; never stop paying the price for your walk through life, for the journey is not free. It is definitely one that is earned. 

Learning to receive and 

the art of giving without hesitation,

You are truly amazing.

Teaching me never to wait;

life is not a destination.

It's not arrived at by fate.

Making it what I will,

shuffling the cards I was dealt.

Laying my life on the table

thinking I chose,

knowing now it was you

loving me with grace; there is

no other love like yours.

You last, putting me first,

making me smile, and

sheltering the hardships of life.

Raising me to endure,

wise words, open heart,

wanting for my success,

every one of my degrees are yours.

Seizing the day;

each moment is mine.

Rest assured...

I have learned.

Never remembering when I fought for you, but counting the "once" I was through. Closing your eyes to my greatness, but standing witness to my faults. Your cavalier attitude to my dreams, and your wavering commitment to my pursuit. Archetype of Babylon, glistening in the sun, fooled by the mirage, drugged by your kiss. I trusted only to be broken; loved--to be betrayed. Standing ground to your pernicious acts. Stronger with each baneful word than before. You should have walked away. Awakening an unpropitious me that I have long put to rest, I strain against what I use to know as self. Resting on the shoulders of progress, I have journeyed too far to be re-broken. Unleashing my soul, crying out mercilessly to be freed. You may never understand, and I shall never see. Forever falling to my knees expecting justice once more. Never failing, I call out needing to believe that I will be forgiven and restored. 

Holding on to the gas that lights my fire, the anger that fuels my life; I am here today because someone didn't believe in me not knowing the destiny; my strife.

How many more tomorrows will I have? How many more chances to plant the stake

of forgiveness in my heart where barren love lays. Am I better off running on hate?

To the universe, I am a pawn, only earning my rightful place. Life owes me nothing, nor do I it.

Crying to the night,

whispering to the break of dawn.

Pen of sacrifice,

ink of despair.

Paper of hope,

failure to love.

Drowning to be heard,

but never giving up.

Searching to be found,

the world of anonymity

placed blood on my head.

Afloat the sacrifice,

the prayer warrior never lets me drown.

Born to be bruised,

saved to be forgotten.

My legacy lives in my character;

the memory of who I am meant to be.

The blessing of being broken

is that you can embody a new form.

Being burned teaches you

to let go of the unnecessary.

Brandishing of your soul

teaches you the worth of love.

Redemption…the mercy of truth.

Fighting your inner demons

allows you the glimpse

of who you can be without grace.

The blood of salvation covers my soul.

Where the ocean meets the sand, I know that you have worried about me the most. My relentless praying warrior, I know you've been scared for me at least a time or two. I know it bothers you when I lose control, but you've seen my heart, and you know my soul. Above all things, I've tried to let you know the most that I understand; you've taught me well on those shores. Deafened by reality, I have been lost, broken, and tested but in you I'm found. You have paid for my emancipation for over a lifetime with one prayer at a time. 

Knowing that I can't go back; high on hate, fueled by pain, making it out before, I'm never quite truly sure. Thinking I'm going to relax, knowing I'm about to relapse; I hate how I react, but I know I won't die. Holding me in your mind, I need you to let me go. Wanting me where you want me for a moment in time, knowing that in that moment, our memories won't die. Worshiping each hour, never sure, more blinded than before. Reliving a life unwritten, unsung. Just let me go. Perfect doesn't exist.Thinking I'm about to relax; high on hate, fueled by pain, I react; here we go; I relapse. 

In the pursuit of indulging in the fruit of beguilement, ignorance is bliss. For with much knowledge, comes much responsibility, and in love we are fickle. Love, loss, and loyalty lies in the heart of the capricious wanderer. Rational temperance is the pariah of this faith. For to love is to abandon moderation at the door, leaving it to the elements; emotions opened to the wind. Reality is I'm not ready. 

I'm not alright

Demons I thought were put to rest

Once again

Find their way in

Details, details, but all facts

There may be no out for me

I swear I'm drowning

This time

you need to listen

Yes, all facts

Commit or walk away

My love's legit

You act like you have time to waste

I'm willing to admit

That I love you

You're amazed but not moved

Captivated but not compelled

But nothing's holding you

So walk away

Don't make me think for a second

that this is what you want;

don't make me your fool 

because I'll give you my life

but I'll take yours in return

if I feel used

Happiness blinds my pen from writing; anger fuels my words on the page. Inspiration anchored in hate; looking for a sanctuary to my faith. Searching tirelessly for wisdom; ending at the road of decisions; finding only in my truth that I am never satisfied

Always seeking the next horizon, the next plateau upon which to stand. Whose shoulders will lead me next to rise? Where I can satiate my thirst, my hunger, my drive.

Not knowing if I will ever take the next voyage; always planning for the next anchor

to dive in to a new reality.

A small slither of happiness gleans on the afterthought of my mind. Never in reach but never out of sight

Always haunted by my sacrifices; finding futile relief in the strife. Knowing that there is a better tomorrow.

Believing that there is a need to strive. Hoping only for forgiveness. Knowing that I will one day die. 

Understanding that my moments are simply grains of sand. Trusting that I am being held in His hand. Never making a back-up plan

For what is for me will be mine no matter the chance

that must be taken. I am simply a moment in time, a speckle in His eye. I know I am highly favored.

Here I am; it is I.

Freed from judgement

on the hate that fueled my success,

I'm bound only to time,

set ablaze through forgiveness.

Refined by the flame,

the callous, misunderstanding of others

for my purpose and drive.

Striving only for greatness,

the meek shall inherit the goodness of God.

For the plans of God

will not be forsaken

on the impenitent tongue of others.

Cursed by the words of others,

physically and emotionally scarred,

the ink covers my woes.

The art of intentional affliction,

in an effort to take control,

to heal the preexisting pain.

When the lights go out,

the pain therapy

soothes my soul,

subdues my vexation,

silences my fears.

If I were just black,

you could use your pen to define

   me;

just place an X in that box,

that personifies my being.

Not understanding your logic

because my blood runs deep

yearning for an answer,

awaiting faith in mankind to be

   restored.

I find your loquacious argument to

   be weak. 

Your washing of blood

and mixing of my heritage

has made me, me. 

So now you want to put me in a box that says: "this is all you      can be".

But my rivers have laid the

   foundation for my freedom.

For weakness was not an option

granted the appearance of my skin.

My eyes are of the darkest abyss,

not the skies of blue.

In them you can see the pain

of all that I've overcome

because of you.

I am many times mistaken, 

but never am I confused,

never defined

by X;

in that box that is so misused.

Trying to break me, destruction calls me by name, and it's easy to give in. Please don't take it personal, but pride kills, and I've been forever dead. Buried alive and cursed by a smile, putting everything on a hinge, I indulge in the good fight. Freeing my mind, taking flight, in the dead of battle, I write. Character isn't built on the shoulders of the weak or on the path of least resistance. Burned and beaten, I emerge a new me on the horizon.

I live in a country where people don’t know who I am. I have no past to guide me, and a future that is out of my control. Where do I begin to establish my identity? I am a West Indian, nothing less and nothing more; I am what I am. Where do I begin to define myself? With a history erased, an identity lost, I make my footsteps in the sand. No legacy to leave behind as the water washes away my imprints on the land. As an Islander, I am constantly reminded that my history is only as relevant as the rolling of the tide. We live only in the moment, and who am I to try to do something as unnatural as the capturing of time? 

Love is just a decision.

The cocaine pain

In the pursuit of having loved and       lost.

Addicted to the vain

and left of forgiveness,

I bend to the wind of circumstance.

Settling for less

Knowing that there's more

I apologize in advance for the pain.

Love is unfair

as war is unholy;

to love me is unnatural.

To sacrifice self

In the midst of the storm

Lacks the sanity of pansophy

Right of vanity

Unglued

Lack luster love

Only I can save me.

I entered the world on fire with a yearning desire to be burn down my lived atrocities and light my own path. Lacking the love of my parents, I am forever scarred, forever broken, eternally flawed. Anger has fueled my pain and paved my success. Happiness is foreign, and peace is a stranger to my soul. Cursed by a smile, God has his way of conditioning his soldiers for the hardships of life. Hardened hearted and heavily burdened, the life of one that is chosen is not for the fickle. Living without the blessing of parental love, the soothing touch of a mother, and the guiding words of a father, I have become different person. Different from what my biological parents wanted, but perfect in my own reflection of self. Not having to, but they did; my grandparents did not have to take on the burden that my parents left behind. Raising me the best way they knew how, there was no amount of love to quell the abyss left by my parents' unlove. My mother not loving me past her addiction and my father telling me I would be a "pregnant high school dropout" has shaped my perception of and approach to life. The greatest lesson my parents taught me was that people will always do exactly what it is they want to do.

Taking for granted

the love that saved me;

focused on the unlove

that brandished me and burned my soul.

I am redeemed by the unlikely;

kindness of the ones who chose.

Not having to, but they did.

Indebted to their unconditional

regard for my life.

I live to satisfy their souls

to live the dreams they sacrificed for me.

Taking from their heart

cutting their soul

to give me life;

I live to see them smile,

so they know their sacrifice was not in vain.

I wouldn't be who I am without them;

I wouldn't have survived the pain.

Teaching me purpose;

ironing out my sins.

I love because I was loved;

I forgive because I was saved.

If you love me, then say something because I won’t wait, and I’ll have no regrets. I am confidently lost; a vagabond to love, not seeking to be found. Living life un-apologetically, I don’t need you to anchor me down. Love will always provoke me, but I’ll have no regrets. With my heart on empty, I only have this moment, and it is what I make it. On the horizon lies the opportunity for greatness with the setting of the sun. The decision is now. Trusting you in love might lead to heartbreak. I can’t abandon what I know to be true now, no regrets, not even on my worst day.

I've been grinding so hard;

They think I'm heartless

When your childhood scars you,

And life puts a nail in your coffin

Failure is not an option

Left of tolerance

And right at insanity,

I am unglued.

It's been a hell of a ride

With God on my side

Each step of the way

With my prayer warrior in my corner,

God has his way of smiling through the pain.

I wake up to greet the dawn,

the new horizon

upon which my dreams are conquered.

Where I dispel the myth of failure,

the happenstance of life,

the unfortunate circumstance of forgiveness.

Never seeing through to you

all in my feelings

too far from the truth

reality was so distant

I just never knew

Not understanding

and never judging

standing still

confused

nonchalantly

wondering out loud:

if you want me,

you’re going to have to lose!

Breaking off your heart for

   mine

trusting 'till you bleed.

committing 'till I walk away

believing I'll never leave

Never taming my spirit, always looking for an escape

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Morphine

quelling the sting of my pain

Not what I want

but maybe what I need

complicated, mundane

you can take what's yours,

but leave what's mine

I've come too far,

and I'd rather die on the       

   edge of life.

As beauty beholds you, miniscule in the ripple of time, no one with a good life has had an easy road. The vapid rhetorical banter of the world conspires against the benevolence of mankind. Hardening the heart of forgiveness, poisoning the ideology of love, threatening the sanity of peace. Looking into my eyes as a child, I wish my parents could have put their hatred for each other aside, but my grandmother's love is all I needed. 

Survival is for the broken; trust me, it takes its toll. For it is never random, you are chosen, selected to brave the arduous road. It never comes easy to be worth your weight in gold. Never stopping to see the moments of reality, stuck in ambition and driven by pain, not feeling at ease, knowing that at any moment you may fail, you pick up the pieces. The dawn of another day.

Survival leaves me hardened, callous, and bitter.

You might could try, but you can't save me; there may be no out.

When life callouses your heart

and love isn't there when you need it,

and only anger subdues the pain.

The glimmer, the shine of addiction;

becoming a stranger to yourself

And deaf to salvation,

life has defined my plight by fire.

The Cocaine pain;

the pursuit of having loved and lost.

Waking to see a new dawn,

addicted to the vain.

Left of forgiveness

and leaving my tears at the altar.

It's out of my hands,

but I won't capitulate.

Saving me from me becomes impossible.

Wanting for something I can't have.

My plight, my journey, my fate.

What are you willing to be addicted to?

Holding the pieces of my soul in my hand

as the pool deepens around me.

The flesh is wicked;

however, we are all learn-ed.

Each moment, each movement, each reaction

is learned, is absorbed, is willful.

Whether we regret becomes a talk with the spirit.

Saving yourself becomes an inner battle with the flesh.

To each, his own definition of righteous;

his own path to the throne